Thursday, November 5, 2015

Christians - Go Ahead, Feel Your Pain

Pain. It is something that none of us want to feel.  We go to great lengths to hide our hurt under our hard shell.  We hide it to avoid, we hide it to pretend, we hide it to survive.  Unfortunately, pain is a part of the human experience.  And unfortunately, it is something that Christians don't always know how to feel.


My husband and I are just coming off of some of the most painful years we have ever endured.  There was no death in the family.  Nobody got sick.  There was no major life altering event that would cause somebody to look in from the outside and say, "Bless their hearts."  In fact, it was quite easy to hide all evidence of our circumstances; to act as if all was fine. 

But still, there were long days and even longer nights.  There was emptiness and loneliness and doubt.   Lots and lots of doubt.

And there certainly was no singing about victory in Jesus.

There. Was. Pain.

Pain that very few people wanted to talk about.  Because, bitterness.  Division.  Stumbling.  And lots of other words and phrases that only induced guilt and more pain.  

I'm not sure why there is such stigma when it comes to pain within the church.  Oh, sure, there is "accepted" pain, such as that which stems from death of a loved one, physical trauma, illness, etc.  It is OK to be affected by such things, as long as mourning is short and the cause is easily identifiable to the outside world.  But emotional trauma?  No.  No...that is to be hidden.  Hidden under the "God's got this" umbrella.  Hidden under the, "Just study the Word" and "Pray more" advice.  Any emotions other than joy are to be tucked away under the "Don't let your heart become bitter" sermons and speeches.  So we learn to suffer in silence and deny our reality so that we do not seem negative or as if we do not have it all together. 

Thankfully, God doesn't operate that way.  He is patient, even when we do not want to be joyful.  And He still listens, even when we don't pray.

God brings life from our pain.  God brings new life from our ashes.

But we have to allow ourselves to become the ashes before we can see the beauty.

Hurting friends, all of you hurting brothers and sisters....HURT.  It's OK.  Burn and become ashes. 

Your ashes do not represent bitterness.

Your ashes do not represent anger.  

Your ashes do not represent broken friendships.

Your ashes do not represent a lack of faith.

Your ashes do not represent weakness. 

Your ashes do not represent sin.

Your ashes represent your story.  What God has done, is doing, and will do.

As a very wise friend once told me, "as a fire refines silver to purge any impurities, so our pain can refine our souls. And as we burn, the ashes left behind can be transformed by the very breath of God." 

Let yourself feel the pain, and encourage others to feel theirs.  Bond through pain as God breathes life into you once again.